- Find a job (soon)
- Visit the shops that have many choices of wardrobes, make a decision and order the wardrobe for our bedroom
- Go through the toys of the kids (done!)
- Bring the cooking books downstairs and put them on the kitchen-shelf (done!)
- Tidy your bathroom chest (too many things, soaps, perfumes that have expired: throw throw throw!)
- Talk to Barbara about some job possibilities that she might know of
- Write to Zuhal (done!)
- Finish knitting the sweater for Iris (done!)
- Finish sewing the mantle for Sander
- Sew that tablecloth for the dining table for God's sake! It's been 3 years that the material is waiting in a nylon bag up in the attic
- Fix some curtains for the kitchen
- Renew the plastic cover of the table in the kitchen
- Buy new plates (not urgent)
- Do the editing job for the professor (very urgent!) (done!)
- Put a button on the trousers of Gabriele (done!)
- Put the things that the cleaning lady has ironed in their place (done!)
- Go to Ikea one day
- Buy yourself some new clothes (I like this one the most ;-))
- Buy some new shoes (you can never have enough of those)
Friday, March 30, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Dream or nightmare?
I saw him again in my dream tonight.
I am in a city (I have no idea which city it is), dressed very strangely. I have my white heavy cotton apron with many ladybugs arranged in a heart shape under which it is written 'I love Florence', and over this I am wearing a white semi-transparent dress! I am supposed to go to school, but looking in the mirror I realize that you can see through my dress and I feel very uncomfortable.
All of a sudden the scenery changes. I'm wearing some dark trousers now, with a shirt and a jacket over. I am at an office where people are sitting at big tables with newspapers in front of them, reading the ads, underlining some stuff with markers, making phone calls... There is a queue in front of this office, I pass by the people in the queue and with the corner of my eye I see him, leaning on a wall with a girl next to him. He notices me, too, but I think he is pretending not to have seen me. I look at the girl, just a quick look. She is not so young (but younger than me), with glasses and make up under her glasses, her hair dyed and tied in the back. I sit at the only seat available and begin reading a newspaper, but I don't work there, I sit only because I feel tired and there is an empty seat. Soon somebody comes, somebody working there, to whom I have to hand over my seat. Now I don't know where to stand. I can still see him over there, and this time I know that he is watching me, I can feel his eyes on me. I sense that he wants to talk to me, but I don't do anything to encourage him. I get bored of waiting and decide to leave. I have to go down some stairs and there he is, right at the top of the stairs waiting for me. He stops me and begins talking, smiling the way only he smiles..
- Hei
- Hi
- So how are you?
- Quite well. I see you are fine, too.
- Yes, I am doing fine.
Suddenly a girl appears next to him, not the girl that I have seen before, a different one, without glasses, blondish, with a little baby in her arms!
- Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Hediye (Hediye? What a name! Why a Turkish name? Is she also Turkish?? No, I don't think so. She looks like Bosnian or some other X-Yugoslavian to me)
- Nice to meet you Hediye.
- Nice to meet you Yasemin (She is nervous?). Look, this is our daughter. (So he has got a daughter, how beautiful. He deserves it.)
She gives the baby to him. He takes her recklessly in his arms.
- Ja, I have a daughter now.
He smiles widely as if trying to give me a message. 'You thought I would never have a family maybe?'. He doesn't say these words but I know him well enough to read his mind.
He gives the baby back to the mother and without saying anything takes my arm and leads me out to another room. There we talk a bit more, I don't remember now what we actually talked about, dreams do you this dirty trick, the more time passes the more you forget.
- You still look very beautiful.
- Ja, I know. (Me and my modesty! I wanted to remind him what he had lost. In fact I know that he will regret it all his life, everybody told him so when it was over.)
We talk... about the old days. Then it is time to say our farewells. He kisses me on my cheek, then another kiss on the other cheek. I want to go. It is wrong.. He doesn't leave me. I wriggle out of his arms and run away. If I stayed a little more I know I would do things that I would regret this time.
I find myself thinking.. So he didn't move in with that other girl in fact. He doesn't have to take care of the sons of that other woman but has got a daughter of his own. Good for him. This is definitely better.
I woke up. It was one of those dreams that feel so real.
Why do I continue to see him in my dreams? Such a long time has passed.. We have no contact since I got married. It was his choice though. He made up a reason for not contacting me, for getting angry with me, he really had no reason. He just couldn't accept that I got married.
But why do I still see him in my dreams?
I am in a city (I have no idea which city it is), dressed very strangely. I have my white heavy cotton apron with many ladybugs arranged in a heart shape under which it is written 'I love Florence', and over this I am wearing a white semi-transparent dress! I am supposed to go to school, but looking in the mirror I realize that you can see through my dress and I feel very uncomfortable.
All of a sudden the scenery changes. I'm wearing some dark trousers now, with a shirt and a jacket over. I am at an office where people are sitting at big tables with newspapers in front of them, reading the ads, underlining some stuff with markers, making phone calls... There is a queue in front of this office, I pass by the people in the queue and with the corner of my eye I see him, leaning on a wall with a girl next to him. He notices me, too, but I think he is pretending not to have seen me. I look at the girl, just a quick look. She is not so young (but younger than me), with glasses and make up under her glasses, her hair dyed and tied in the back. I sit at the only seat available and begin reading a newspaper, but I don't work there, I sit only because I feel tired and there is an empty seat. Soon somebody comes, somebody working there, to whom I have to hand over my seat. Now I don't know where to stand. I can still see him over there, and this time I know that he is watching me, I can feel his eyes on me. I sense that he wants to talk to me, but I don't do anything to encourage him. I get bored of waiting and decide to leave. I have to go down some stairs and there he is, right at the top of the stairs waiting for me. He stops me and begins talking, smiling the way only he smiles..
- Hei
- Hi
- So how are you?
- Quite well. I see you are fine, too.
- Yes, I am doing fine.
Suddenly a girl appears next to him, not the girl that I have seen before, a different one, without glasses, blondish, with a little baby in her arms!
- Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Hediye (Hediye? What a name! Why a Turkish name? Is she also Turkish?? No, I don't think so. She looks like Bosnian or some other X-Yugoslavian to me)
- Nice to meet you Hediye.
- Nice to meet you Yasemin (She is nervous?). Look, this is our daughter. (So he has got a daughter, how beautiful. He deserves it.)
She gives the baby to him. He takes her recklessly in his arms.
- Ja, I have a daughter now.
He smiles widely as if trying to give me a message. 'You thought I would never have a family maybe?'. He doesn't say these words but I know him well enough to read his mind.
He gives the baby back to the mother and without saying anything takes my arm and leads me out to another room. There we talk a bit more, I don't remember now what we actually talked about, dreams do you this dirty trick, the more time passes the more you forget.
- You still look very beautiful.
- Ja, I know. (Me and my modesty! I wanted to remind him what he had lost. In fact I know that he will regret it all his life, everybody told him so when it was over.)
We talk... about the old days. Then it is time to say our farewells. He kisses me on my cheek, then another kiss on the other cheek. I want to go. It is wrong.. He doesn't leave me. I wriggle out of his arms and run away. If I stayed a little more I know I would do things that I would regret this time.
I find myself thinking.. So he didn't move in with that other girl in fact. He doesn't have to take care of the sons of that other woman but has got a daughter of his own. Good for him. This is definitely better.
I woke up. It was one of those dreams that feel so real.
Why do I continue to see him in my dreams? Such a long time has passed.. We have no contact since I got married. It was his choice though. He made up a reason for not contacting me, for getting angry with me, he really had no reason. He just couldn't accept that I got married.
But why do I still see him in my dreams?
Friday, March 23, 2007
The concert
We are going to a concert tonight with my husband.
Loreena McKennitt is in town as a part of her An Ancient Muse tour following the release of her latest album with the same name in November 2006 after a long period of silence. We love her music and style, but to me she represents something else.
It was the summer of '98, I was visiting my family in Istanbul. I went in a music shop and went through the CDs. I wanted to start listening to some new music, was fed up with my collection: Supertramp, Brian Adams, Sting, Alan Parsons Project, Dire Straits, Turkish pop artists.. I wanted to try something new, so I turned my attention to new-age stuff. There it was: The Visit of Loreena McKennitt. It was just a coincidence that I bought that album, but I really liked it.
Then about two weeks later I was back in Norway, and just by coincidence again I met my later-to-be husband for the first time. We listened to The Visit together, he liked it so much that I bought a copy for him as a farewell present when he was supposed to go back to his country. Later our relationship got stronger while our collection of Loreena McKennitt's work got complete. It is, kind of, our first project realized together with my husband :-)
One day last month I had stopped at the traffic lights and was looking around and there it was: the announcement of her concert in Florence. We just had to go to listen her singing live for us.
Well, the day has come. The kids are left at the grandparents for the night and soon we are off to listen to our favorite singer. I am sure we will enjoy it..
Loreena McKennitt is in town as a part of her An Ancient Muse tour following the release of her latest album with the same name in November 2006 after a long period of silence. We love her music and style, but to me she represents something else.
It was the summer of '98, I was visiting my family in Istanbul. I went in a music shop and went through the CDs. I wanted to start listening to some new music, was fed up with my collection: Supertramp, Brian Adams, Sting, Alan Parsons Project, Dire Straits, Turkish pop artists.. I wanted to try something new, so I turned my attention to new-age stuff. There it was: The Visit of Loreena McKennitt. It was just a coincidence that I bought that album, but I really liked it.
Then about two weeks later I was back in Norway, and just by coincidence again I met my later-to-be husband for the first time. We listened to The Visit together, he liked it so much that I bought a copy for him as a farewell present when he was supposed to go back to his country. Later our relationship got stronger while our collection of Loreena McKennitt's work got complete. It is, kind of, our first project realized together with my husband :-)
One day last month I had stopped at the traffic lights and was looking around and there it was: the announcement of her concert in Florence. We just had to go to listen her singing live for us.
Well, the day has come. The kids are left at the grandparents for the night and soon we are off to listen to our favorite singer. I am sure we will enjoy it..
Monday, March 19, 2007
The "Bree" in me, Part 1
I have two favorite TV series: Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. My husband makes fun of me saying "Desperate housewife is watching her series again", and I get angry. In fact, he is right ;-) I should acknowledge the fact that I find something in common with at least one of the characters there: Bree.
I love seeing my house in order, clean, everything in its place, and I don't really see what is wrong with that! In the house everybody is supposed to wear slippers, I hate that people enter my home with their shoes! I tried many times to explain them the reasons but they simply don't seem to grasp it. It is quite normal for us Turks that when you go to visit someone you take off your shoes in the entrance and they offer you slippers, or you change in to the ones you have carried for yourself from home. Nobody has the right to step on the carpets/kilims with dirty/wet/muddy/dusty shoes, or go in the bathrooms with their shoes and make dirty the floors which we step on with bare feet after shower. I found my little son many times literally licking the floors. I certainly don't want him to lick the piece of mud that a dear visitor has carried in my house from God knows where!
OK, this was the clean house part. My Breeness goes beyond that. You should see my dishwasher: each piece of silverware, cutlery, pot, glass has its own spot. That's why I hate it when someone else takes over the duty of filling my dishwasher, because I have to open the dishwasher and change the place of everything that is misplaced after that person has finished his job before I can turn it on. When you open the cupboards in my kitchen you see that I follow the trend also there: pots and plates placed according to size, bowls piled up in order of capacity, glasses grouped according to their function...
While ironing I can lose myself in a fold that doesn't seem to disappear no matter how much steam I use, while cleaning the floors I could continue vacuuming the same spot for minutes because of a single thread of dog-hair, while doing the laundry I may try all kinds of stain removers available in the market in order to get rid of a stubborn little stain.
Everything should be perfect, or at least nearly so. Things should be symmetric, or in place, or evenly distributed. I will never forget the face of my husband when he saw the first pizza that I had prepared for us: each centimeter square of the pizza had equal amount of cheese, tomatoes and what-ever-else found place on it. Maybe this was the result of my studying optimization for such a long time, I don't know, but doesn't change the result, I made a very mathematical looking pizza... ;-)
Well, I do sound as if "I have dust in my brain", as the Norwegians say (å ha støv på hjerne) :-)
I love seeing my house in order, clean, everything in its place, and I don't really see what is wrong with that! In the house everybody is supposed to wear slippers, I hate that people enter my home with their shoes! I tried many times to explain them the reasons but they simply don't seem to grasp it. It is quite normal for us Turks that when you go to visit someone you take off your shoes in the entrance and they offer you slippers, or you change in to the ones you have carried for yourself from home. Nobody has the right to step on the carpets/kilims with dirty/wet/muddy/dusty shoes, or go in the bathrooms with their shoes and make dirty the floors which we step on with bare feet after shower. I found my little son many times literally licking the floors. I certainly don't want him to lick the piece of mud that a dear visitor has carried in my house from God knows where!
OK, this was the clean house part. My Breeness goes beyond that. You should see my dishwasher: each piece of silverware, cutlery, pot, glass has its own spot. That's why I hate it when someone else takes over the duty of filling my dishwasher, because I have to open the dishwasher and change the place of everything that is misplaced after that person has finished his job before I can turn it on. When you open the cupboards in my kitchen you see that I follow the trend also there: pots and plates placed according to size, bowls piled up in order of capacity, glasses grouped according to their function...
While ironing I can lose myself in a fold that doesn't seem to disappear no matter how much steam I use, while cleaning the floors I could continue vacuuming the same spot for minutes because of a single thread of dog-hair, while doing the laundry I may try all kinds of stain removers available in the market in order to get rid of a stubborn little stain.
Everything should be perfect, or at least nearly so. Things should be symmetric, or in place, or evenly distributed. I will never forget the face of my husband when he saw the first pizza that I had prepared for us: each centimeter square of the pizza had equal amount of cheese, tomatoes and what-ever-else found place on it. Maybe this was the result of my studying optimization for such a long time, I don't know, but doesn't change the result, I made a very mathematical looking pizza... ;-)
Well, I do sound as if "I have dust in my brain", as the Norwegians say (å ha støv på hjerne) :-)
Operation 'Lemon Plant'
We've got a little lemon plant in our house. Since we bought it last summer it has been 'invaded' by some kind of parasite that attacks the leaves, flowers and the fruits causing them to dry. It makes some white foam-like sticky thing on the leaves and stem. It was sad to watch the beautiful plant die slowly in front of our eyes so I decided to take action this morning. I made a dish of soapy water, put on my gloves and got to work. I wiped clean each and every leaf, flower and branch. I hope, if I repeat this process once or twice, the plant will be saved. Nowadays when you enter our house you get this strong smell of lemon flowers. I intend to keep this smell and won't give in to a little bug! :-)
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Still good...
Just entered the house after half an hour out in the garden.. I looked at my son and he seemed bored all alone playing in his box. So I dressed him and took him out. We first picked the day's post, then he exercised his walking a bit. The weather is extremely beautiful, with full sun and a little breeze. We walked through all the garden, stopped to pick some daisies, or smell the lemon grass and sage. Our jealous Golden Retriever Roy accompanied us though I would be more happy if he didn't ;-) He tries to get between me and the baby, trying to lick him, stealing the flowers that the baby wants to pick up. He even tried to get on the swing with us :-)
Today is a beautiful day indeed.. I managed to be good and didn't shout at the dog. I am impressed by myself ;-)
Today is a beautiful day indeed.. I managed to be good and didn't shout at the dog. I am impressed by myself ;-)
A good day
This morning the first thing I saw was the white hyacinth in one of the pots in my balcony. I was so happy to see that it finally gave me a flower. What a smell it has! I changed its position and placed it right in front of the living-room window so that every time I look out I can enjoy my beautiful flower.
Beginning the day with a smile on my face I decided: today I will be 'good'. I will try not to get angry in traffic. I won't put on the horn or flash the lights like a maniac to grannies that are going in front of me with 30 km/hour. I won't pass on yellow light. I will stop to let people cross the road. Wow, do I sound like a crazy driver! I am not, in fact. It is the traffic in this country that 'drives' me 'crazy'!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Wanted: a marketing expert
I need to learn how to 'market' myself. Seeing around many people that are not worth a penny but pretend to have 'created the world' makes me sick. It is not good to be too modest, people step over you and continue on their way up while you are left there trying to understand what the hell has happened.
"What is in a name?
That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet."
Yes, Shakespeare had said so, and maybe was right in his context. But I would really like to find a suitable title for my blog and I don't take this job lightly. It should fit the content and reflect 'me'. Hence, I decided to leave my newest 'toy' without a proper title until the 'right time' comes.
You know I have done exactly the same thing when I took in a kitten many years ago. It was a beautiful lively little 'tiger'. The minute my parents saw him they asked me how I would name the newcomer. "It should earn his name", I said. And so he did.. I named him "Haydut" (bandit in Turkish).
Yes, Shakespeare had said so, and maybe was right in his context. But I would really like to find a suitable title for my blog and I don't take this job lightly. It should fit the content and reflect 'me'. Hence, I decided to leave my newest 'toy' without a proper title until the 'right time' comes.
You know I have done exactly the same thing when I took in a kitten many years ago. It was a beautiful lively little 'tiger'. The minute my parents saw him they asked me how I would name the newcomer. "It should earn his name", I said. And so he did.. I named him "Haydut" (bandit in Turkish).
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