Dream or nightmare?

I saw him again in my dream tonight.

I am in a city (I have no idea which city it is), dressed very strangely. I have my white heavy cotton apron with many ladybugs arranged in a heart shape under which it is written 'I love Florence', and over this I am wearing a white semi-transparent dress! I am supposed to go to school, but looking in the mirror I realize that you can see through my dress and I feel very uncomfortable.

All of a sudden the scenery changes. I'm wearing some dark trousers now, with a shirt and a jacket over. I am at an office where people are sitting at big tables with newspapers in front of them, reading the ads, underlining some stuff with markers, making phone calls... There is a queue in front of this office, I pass by the people in the queue and with the corner of my eye I see him, leaning on a wall with a girl next to him. He notices me, too, but I think he is pretending not to have seen me. I look at the girl, just a quick look. She is not so young (but younger than me), with glasses and make up under her glasses, her hair dyed and tied in the back. I sit at the only seat available and begin reading a newspaper, but I don't work there, I sit only because I feel tired and there is an empty seat. Soon somebody comes, somebody working there, to whom I have to hand over my seat. Now I don't know where to stand. I can still see him over there, and this time I know that he is watching me, I can feel his eyes on me. I sense that he wants to talk to me, but I don't do anything to encourage him. I get bored of waiting and decide to leave. I have to go down some stairs and there he is, right at the top of the stairs waiting for me. He stops me and begins talking, smiling the way only he smiles..
- Hei
- Hi
- So how are you?
- Quite well. I see you are fine, too.
- Yes, I am doing fine.
Suddenly a girl appears next to him, not the girl that I have seen before, a different one, without glasses, blondish, with a little baby in her arms!
- Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Hediye (Hediye? What a name! Why a Turkish name? Is she also Turkish?? No, I don't think so. She looks like Bosnian or some other X-Yugoslavian to me)
- Nice to meet you Hediye.
- Nice to meet you Yasemin (She is nervous?). Look, this is our daughter. (So he has got a daughter, how beautiful. He deserves it.)
She gives the baby to him. He takes her recklessly in his arms.
- Ja, I have a daughter now.
He smiles widely as if trying to give me a message. 'You thought I would never have a family maybe?'. He doesn't say these words but I know him well enough to read his mind.

He gives the baby back to the mother and without saying anything takes my arm and leads me out to another room. There we talk a bit more, I don't remember now what we actually talked about, dreams do you this dirty trick, the more time passes the more you forget.
- You still look very beautiful.
- Ja, I know. (Me and my modesty! I wanted to remind him what he had lost. In fact I know that he will regret it all his life, everybody told him so when it was over.)
We talk... about the old days. Then it is time to say our farewells. He kisses me on my cheek, then another kiss on the other cheek. I want to go. It is wrong.. He doesn't leave me. I wriggle out of his arms and run away. If I stayed a little more I know I would do things that I would regret this time.

I find myself thinking.. So he didn't move in with that other girl in fact. He doesn't have to take care of the sons of that other woman but has got a daughter of his own. Good for him. This is definitely better.

I woke up. It was one of those dreams that feel so real.

Why do I continue to see him in my dreams? Such a long time has passed.. We have no contact since I got married. It was his choice though. He made up a reason for not contacting me, for getting angry with me, he really had no reason. He just couldn't accept that I got married.

But why do I still see him in my dreams?