I decided to study computer engineering/science when I was 11. I didn't only decide what to study but where to study, too, at that early age. When I was telling everybody that I would be studying computer engineering at Bogazici University in Istanbul, the ones that didn't know me well (they were yet to discover what a determined and hard-working student I was) were just making a grin saying 'Sure, everybody wants to study there, but only a handful can get in'. After 7 years and a two-step university entrance exam there I was, exactly where I had told them that I would be. The only strange thing was the reason why I had said at that early age that I wanted to study computers. It was not because I was in love with computers or anything (hey, it was 1980 when I made my decision, not everybody had a computer then). It was simply because I was hearing people talk about computers, and how difficult it had to be to study computer engineering and how intelligent the guys that have chosen computer engineering were. The guys? The guys! 'Why the guys, but not the girls??', I thought. I was intelligent. I had determination. I adored mathematics. What else was necessary?? Being a boy? Nope. I had found my profession, and I went for it.
We were 60 that were admitted that year, and if I don't remember wrong, we were only 4 or 5 girls. Not that it disturbed me, just the opposite: I enjoyed the friendship of boys more than that of the girls at that time. In a short while I became one of the boys, too.
After 3 years of computer engineering I got accepted to the computer science department of University of Bergen in Norway and transfered there although I had only one year left for graduation in Istanbul and I lost a year (or gained a language; depends if you want to see the empty or full part of half a glass of water) by transferring to Norway. 13 years after this change of location I even got my PhD. I was not living in Norway any more at the time, I had already moved on with my life and got married, moved to Italy and even made one baby. But my passion for computer science was not changed, it has never changed.
I know that I have chosen the correct profession for me, and when I am given the chance I show that I am good at it, too. Yet, I don't have a job where I can use my knowledge, especially my specialty (parallel computing; subject of a future post maybe), and this is killing me. I feel like I have no future in this country when it comes to finding a proper job. A job, any job I can always find, but not the job. And this is killing me.
bu yazinin son kismi beni gercekten üzdu. Hayatta öncelik verdigin degerler (cekirdek ailen ve sagliginiz)ancak bunun ilaci olabilir.
ReplyDeleteBelki hayatin boyunca kafandaki isi yapamayabilirsin ama yaptigin isi cok sevebilirsin ve cokta basarili olabilirsin...
ReplyDeleteElif, the same here! All my good female friends were like me in the past. There must be something special with us ;-)
ReplyDeleteHabibecim, tabii ki ailem onemli ama beni tatmin eden bir isim olmadigi muddetce hep kendimi eksik hissedicem.
Ozlemcim (c.a.), haklisin.
Ikizim..Ben de bu meslegi cok seviyorum (bu arada "computers" degil "computation" diyelim zira bilgisayarlardan pek anladigimiz soylenemez :) ve bu dunyaya bir daha gelsem yine bu meslegi yapmak isterdim (ama daha iyi imkanlar icinde).."Computation"i anlamak ve sevmek icin sanirim belli bir kafa yapisina sahip olmak lazim. Benim cok zeki, ama gercekten super, matematik ve fizik dehasi bir arkadasim, "computer science" i yapamadi. Bir turlu "steps of computation" in ne oldugunu anlayamadi. Benim bunu anlamama gerek yoktu cunku benim kafam zaten bir algoritma gibi calisir (once bunu yap sonra sunu yap, bir problemi kucuk problemlere bol vs). Yani dogamda var sanki..Sen de oylesin...To-do list hazirlamak bile bunun gostergesi degil mi? :-) Senin gibi bu ise bu kadar yatkin olan ve bu isi seven bir insanin elinde firsat olmamasi cok uzucu :-( Keske Bologna'ya yakin olsaydiniz, simdi bir suru EU projelere basvuruyorlar. Mutlaka senin de bir parcasi olabilecegin birseyler vardir! DEIS'de "parallel computing" uzerine calisiyorlar mi acaba, merak ettim, arastiracagim. Bu arada bu konu uzerine yazini dort gozle bekliyorum.
ReplyDeleteLooks like that you can not have both in Italy: a career and a family..))
ReplyDeleteExactly, Hans.. At least not for me, and not in Florence.. In another city might be.
ReplyDeleteBu grubu biliyor musun? Cineca ile ortak calisiyorlar sanirim.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dm.unibo.it/ricerca/SCL/index.html
Hayir, Zekiyecim, bilmiyorum o grubu. Bir bakayim ne yapiyorlarmis...
ReplyDeleteMatematik bolumu benim bolume 10 saniye uzaklikta :-) Bugun aslinda tam hocalarin 'assegna di ricerca' isteme gunu. Bir bak bakalim, sana gore birileri varsa, ilerde olasi bir 'assegna di ricerca' icin kontaga gecebilirsin! Post-doc oluyor yani, ama post-doc'a gore daha 'prestijli', bir cesit 'position'. Hergun gelip gitmene gerek yok, ben burdayim vs Boyle birsey olursa kacirma lutfen!!
ReplyDeleteZekiye hanim Zeki de Wit Double dutch chocolate gibi olmus ;))) Hem Zeki zeki hem wit zeki, zeka kupu yani :)
ReplyDeletedeWit'in bir anlami mi varmis?? Tamamen tesaduf benimkisi. Asik atismasi gibin Hans A.H.C. deWit'e iki seferdir laf atiyorum ama tin yok :-)
ReplyDeleteAllah iyiligini versin senin hansiye hanim cok guldurdun beni allah da seni guldursun :)))))
ReplyDeletehollandaca wit beyaz demek ama ing. zeki daha dogrusu zeka :)
Hmmmm benim kocam oyledir evden ise, isten eve diyecegim ama evden calisiyor ;)))))